Our Will Post 3

Our Will 9 – hurts.

Perhaps the greatest expectation we have is THE HOPE THAT WE CAN CHANGE THE PAST WITH WHAT WE DO TODAY. Most of us, when young, received hurts from those we needed for care, shelter, nurturing, or love. Whether or not these hurts were intentional, the emotional impact is deep and profound.

An important fact is that we did not deserve these hurts. Yet, we had to believe that we were somehow responsible. That was the only way we could justify enduring the hurts in order to survive. …./10

Our Will 10 – hurts.

The real, and very dangerous thing about the emotional hurts we receive when we are young is not the obvious. In abuse situations, therapy often focuses on the abuser/abused relationship. If that was all that was involved, matters could be taken care of fairly easily. The problem is not that – it is the SILENCE OF OTHERS that inflicts the real harm (parents, siblings, relatives, friends).

As a child, when we are physically hurt, we usually can run to someone for comfort. In abuse, there is no one. As a child, the oppression of silence means shame and shunning to us. To us, it means that we must have deserved the abuse, that we must have been bad, that we do not fit into the society we need to survive. This is the last separation of us from our core self. The final twist of conformity for survival. The suppression of our spirit. …./11

Our Will 11 – hurts

We are told that we have an inner child, a being that must be cared for, protected, nurtured. For certain we should recognize and appreciate the wee one that we once were. I also think that keeping this inner child a child, we do ourselves, that is the inner child, an injustice.

The injustice is that we do not let it grow up. Consider the inner child as a representation of our core being. By keeping the inner child a child we deny it (our self) the ability to grow up and become all that we can. In a way (see Carolyn Myss, the Anatomy of the Spirit), by returning to the inner child to protect, assure, nurture it, we continue to bring the HURT emotions into the present. Fortunately, there is a way in which we can acknowledge and protect the inner child and come into the present in a solid, vibrant and healthy way. …./12

Our will 12 – Hurts

I had not thought to discuss the inner child in this series. Now, in this context, it seems to be the right time and place. I was not aware of the inner child concept until my painful back experience. During that year of study and research I tried to find mine, and heal it. The fact that I was unsuccessful did not mean that the idea was not sound, only that I could not DO it. The sense of the inner child stayed with me for another 15 years before I was able to resolve my issue. Shortly I will share this experience with you. Until today I had not thought of what most of us mean by our inner child. I now believe that we mean wounded child, that part of us that was unfairly hurt when we were young and defenseless. Substituting wounded child for inner child puts a different light on what we are doing when we care for, and nurture our wounded child. …/13

To be continued …

© 2015 Galen Dean Loven All Rights Reserved

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